guest_blogger

beauty, guest_blogger, how_to, natural_hair, newly natural 101, tutorials

Natural Hair Wash and Go: Demystified Walk Through and Demo

The bane of every naturalista’s journey at some point in life is perfecting the Wash-n-go! We see all these beautiful pictures and lust after those perfectly formed curls but somehow when it’s our turn to have our curls pop, we end up with fields of cotton balls or even sometimes dry bushy gardens on top of our heads. In my opinion sometimes wash and go’s are not for everyone. For one, the name is so misleading! I remember my first years back on the re-unification journey with my natural hair I was excited to try the most talked about wash and goes until I sat down to actually try to perform the deed.  Not to much surprise I failed completely, with gel in one hand and a frown on my face. I felt defeated because I watched tons of videos and could not understand why my hair would not coil up to stay in perfect shape. I swore never to try again because I was scarred for life. Maybe not for life, but I was disappointed and figured that my hair just didn’t have the capabilities of lustrous curls as everyone else’s did; However, I was so wrong. A couple months ago I started to notice the curls my hair did possess when I would deep condition. I never noticed my curls before because washing my hair and deep conditioning was a dauntless thoughtless process where I wouldn’t ever dare to stare at my hair for hours in a mirror memorized by the moisture and texture I truly possessed. I had been fed up with the lifelessness for years so I never admired my hair for long in a mirror. But when I finally took the time out to take interest in my hair that day I noticed that my curls were alive and well, and the only thing missing all these years was true moisture! This of course served as exciting news to my internal pretentious hair diva. This became the catalyst to my weekly deep conditioning regimen. I even began to research more about my hair and discovered the maximum hydration method. I urge all of you to check out the site if you haven’t. It provides more information on the method as it has changed my hair’s integrity so much. This process is intense which is why I have curtailed it to fit my schedule and own personal regimen because it is way too time consuming to follow to a tee.  My version: There are various ways to conduct a wash and go but this time I have opted to go for the freshly washed hair wash and go because it features more of m curls while my dry wash and go gives me more length and less definition. It depends on the look you are going for but seeing how I just finished watching Jada with her short hair, I was inspired to embrace the shrinkage in this wash and go endeavor. 1.      The first step in my wet wash and go process is of course, washing your tresses. I choose to use Trader Joe’s tingle tea tree shampoo because my hair smells amazing afterwards and it leaves my hair tingly clean (corny I know). 2.      After I wash my hair I follow up with a simple deep condition. For this I use Trader Joe’s Nourish Spa Conditioner, but I apply the conditioner as if I am shingling my hair making sure that each strand is coated with the product. In my opinion this step is crucial because you are adding the moisture back into your hair that the shampoo depleted in the cleansing process. After each stand is coated I place a shower cap on my head and sit under a dryer for 15-30minutes. I lost track of time this time, so unfortunately I am not sure how long I sat under exactly. 3.      The conditioning stage gives my hair great slip and restoration. In this third step I bust out my Bentonite Clay. I mix this clay with Jojoba oil, honey and water. I have tutorial on how I apply my clay. It’s an old video but my process is the same from then ‘til now (just different add-ons in the mix). It is the same shingling method that I used in the previous step with the conditioner. I have adopted this step from the Maximum Hydration Method as this step helps my hiding curls to be exposed and prepares it to hold a curl in one of the final stages. I leave the clay in for 30 minutes and then wash it out.     To reduce crunch on my hair strands I like to apply a light leave in conditioner that also adds additional moisture. I section my hair into four and then work with one section at a time. Each individual section I break into three or four parts. a.       I apply the conditioner to each part and then move onto step 5                                                               i.      You can choose to add a sealer or butter to help keep the moisture in. I usually have a shea butter mixture however I ran out and the regular shea butter was leaving a residue on my hair and I discontinued use after a few trials on sections. 5.      Apply your gel to each individual section in the praying hands motion. If you are using the motion correctly you will notice that your hair will naturally clump into its own portions. 6.      After gel application I twist my roots and pin them down to my scalp, then move on to the next section 7.      By this point your entire head should be gelled and pinned which expedites the drying process. I use a diffuser to start drying the defined ends of my hair until they are 70% dry. I start with high heat for 5 minutes and then decrease to cool air after 10 minutes. I never want to add too much unwanted heat. While I could leave my air to air

challenges, guest_blogger, my story

Winter Castor Oil Challenge @BlakIzBeautyful

Im in! Are you!?? Below via http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/castor-oil-challenge-winter-2012-registration/   How to Participate Please read all the details below 2 or 3 times so you internalize them and then if you still have questions, don’t hesitate to ask. All questions are valid and we want to answer all questions BEFORE the challenge begins. The challenge will begin on Dec 1, 2012 and end on March 1, 2013. Challenge Rules * You can use any type of Castor Oil you desire ( Regular Pharmacy Castor Oil, Cold Pressed Castor Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil, etc.) Get your castor oil right away so you have it in time for the beginning of the challenge. *You must apply the castor oil to your hair/scalp 3x’s a week at the minimum. *You must check in each week from Dec 1,2012 to March 1, 2013. Every Saturday morning there will be a new weekly check in post. There will be NEW check in questions each week. To check in, all you have to do is answer the check in questions. Capisce? Alright… so those were the rules you have to follow during the challenge, here’s how you join the challenge How to Enter the Challenge To enter this challenge you must do the following by Dec 7th, 2012: Leave a comment to this post answering the following 1. What type of Castor Oil will you be using? (Regular Pharmacy Castor Oil, Cold Pressed Castor Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil,etc) 2. How long is your hair now-front, sides, and back? (eye brow length, nose length, chin length, shoulder length etc) 3.How will you be using your Castor Oil? And How often? (Edges, Scalp, Sealing Hair, Hot oil treatments, Deep Conditioning, Overnight Steaming, Avocado Treatment, etc. / 3x a week, 5x a week, etc.) 4. Attach at least one photo, showing your length, to your comment.  This photo will be your BEFORE to compare to your AFTER photo at the conclusion of the challenge. (To attach a photo in the comment box you first need to be on a computer, you cannot attach pics from your phone or ipad or tablet. Then click in the comment box to activate the box. After you click in the box you will see “+image” in the lower left hand corner, click it and upload as many photos showing the length of your hair as it is now) 5. SUBSCRIBE to the Castor Oil Challenge Newsletter. Every week I will send out an email reminding you to check in.  If you want to receive this email be sure to sign up especially if you know YOU will forget to check in. LOL If you are already subscribed, no need to subscribe again. 6. Join this website, click on “Join this Site” on the right sidebar. 7. Join us on FACEBOOK, give us a shout on the wall! (No FB? That’s okie, no worries) 8. Subscribe to Jenell on YouTube, (I appreciate your support in advanced!) Prize If the great growth, healthy, shiny soft, and supple hair isn’t enough for you, there will be a series of prizes given throughout the challenge.  There will be a fabulous grand prize at the conclusion of the challenge.  The winner of the grand prize will be announced on Saturday March 9, 2012. You must have a beginning and an ending photo to be eligible for the prize. You must have been ACTIVE during the challenge? What’s active? Checking in at least 9x during the challenge is active. The last day to register for this challenge is Dec 7th 2012 Here’s a quick video I put together introducing the challenge.   >>>>>>>Join Jenell’s challenge! I did this back in 2011 and it worked like a charm. My hair was thick and grew a little more than usual =) For more info visit here: Kinky Coily  Curly me

food for thought, guest_blogger

So he doesn’t call you anymore? via Madame Noire

[Pic source]   From HelloBeautiful Last weekend I was a guest on the R&B podcast hosted by my good friend Lincoln Anthony Blades. He asked me to discuss men jumping ship during the dating process. Before You take a listen, let me paint the picture: So guy chases down girl, guy gets girl’s number, girl is like, “ok I guess so you aite, we’ll talk”, then guy and girl go out a few times, have a few great conversations, maybe talk about future dates, then……………………………………………his calling pattern changes, contact less frequent, dates? What date? A call or text may come up a few weeks later and he sincerely replies with, “been busy”…………………………………………………………………… sir?! How do you process a situation like this? I mean from bird’s eye view it’s simple, but when you’re actually the one who was wined, dined and denied it’s a whole other ball game. The answer is quite simple. The lovely man you gave your number to was probably on the prowl, has an existing relationship or some messy unfinished business on the side. When we date ideally it’s more than one prospect in the running at any one time. Men tend to understand this and adopt this principle with ease sometimes slipping up with words, promising things they have no business promising. Read more at HelloBeautiful   Source

guest_blogger, hair tips, Hair_Products, hair_tips

Natural Sunshine: She loves her Blow Dryer

Via Natural Sunshine I know many naturals have sworn off of heat styling, and I do go for long stretches of time without using any heat. Recently I’ve been impatient with drying time and I’ve been enjoying the look of blow dried hair. So for the past month I’ve been blow drying my hair after my weekly washes. AND (are you ready for this?) I haven’t been using protective styling that much. As it turns out heat doesn’t have to be my arch nemesis. Are there other naturalistas who would defend their blow dryers like a play cousin in the hood? Before we were so close I was afraid of blow dryers. Like, I would cross the street and grab hold of my purse if I saw one… they scared me so much! For years blow dryers meant tired arms, lots of breakage, somewhat straight roots and crunchy frizzy ends. There is nothing attractive about any of that. But I no longer have that association with my blow dryer even though it is the same ole’ dryer from high school! But the results are drastically different. What changed? I learned about deep conditioning, diffusers/comb attachments and heat protectants. Now that I am diligent about the use of all three, I can blow dry my hair in a fraction of the time, I have much less breakage and my hair is smooth from root to tip. I deep condition my hair in twists after detangling. I finger detangle again while adding my homemade heat protectant. I prefer my comb attachment over a diffuser and separate comb, its seamless and wide-toothed and concentrates the heat on my strands for faster results with less effort. And um yes, I am using a $1.99 comb attachment from the beauty supply store! All three things in conjunction improved the experience but I think I owe the majority of my success to my homemade heat protectant. Its worked so well for me I just had to share the recipe with you all. Click here for the full recipe and post your results if you use it.     How do you feel about your blow dryers?

guest_blogger, newly natural 101, twa, TWA_styles

NatSuns Advice: Feeling ugly with a TWA is okay….

Via Natural SunshinePulled blog story It’s Okay To Feel Ugly With a Baby TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro)! I Know I Do… I am here to set the record straight…Just because you don’t find a certain length of hair attractive on yourself, does not mean your hate your hair texture. Just because you opt not to do a drastic big chop and choose to transition for a whole year before cutting the relaxed ends does not mean you are less “committed” to your natural hair or the natural hair acceptance movement. I believe it means one thing and one thing only, you do not like the way you look with short hair and no matter what the texture, you believe longer hair suits you better than short hair. Period.I have a baby TWA and I admit it, I felt ugly in it. Seeing myself with the beginnings of an afro made me more than a little uncomfortable. For the record, I  have “been there and done that”, and I have already had the experience of growing my hair out from a fade. This is not my first time with a baby TWA. But, a couple weeks ago, I was walking around feeling ugly, asking my husband to weigh in on how ugly I was with my TWA and looking for ways to drop out of this natural hair thing all together…Does that mean I hate my hair? Does it mean I have yet to really accept it? No! I love my hair. I love my hair texture. I have no issues about it whatsoever, but what I am not in love with is the awkward phase I’m in. I don’t have a fade, I don’t have a full TWA with a few styling options. All I have is in between awkward un-styled hair. At first I thought my dislike was cause for concern, I considered removing myself from NatSun while getting myself together (LOL!). But then I calmed down and I gave myself a gift. I gave myself permission to relate to my hair on a personal level and not as an obligation to others. What I mean is, I gave myself permission to feel ugly and not chastise myself for “letting down” other naturals while doing so. I gave my hair permission to just be hair and not a political or social statement. And when I did that,I saw it for what it was…hair that needed a style or a pair of scissors to be up to my personal standards of styling. Nothing more nothing less. TWA circa 2009How does this fit into the post I wrote, No Matter What Stage You’re At in Your Natural Journey, “Own it” &a…, you ask…Despite the fact that I do not feel all that attractive with this length of hair, I have decided not to let it hold me hostage either in my house, under a wig or wrapped up all the time. I have decided that my hair does not have the power to make me any less beautiful than I am when my hair is in the style I prefer. I do wear my hair out from time to time and I hold my head up high. I am just about out of my awkward phase and in the photos above (taken today), I was feeling like I can honestly say I am beginning to enjoy my hair. It is now long enough that my curls are beginning to show and I have a little texture coming out. It is  a lot better than it was a few weeks ago when it was shorter and blah! So my question to  you is, how did you make it though your awkward phase? Have you felt guilty over not liking the way you look in a baby TWA? Have you ever accused someone of hating their hair because they didn’t feel comfortable with a TWA? Do you have a TWA right now and relate to what I am saying here?Weigh in! Thanks for reading! I look forward to reading your comments.Much Love,Sunshine AbuwiP.S.Check out the corresponding video as well! I vlogged about it 🙂 http://naturalsunshine.ning.com/video/it-s-okay-to-feel-ugly-in-a-twa

entertainment, guest_blogger

Vern’s Recommended Read: Wench #naturalhair

I’m Vernadette a true southern girl. I love Jesus with all my heart and reading books is my favorite pastime. I guess I should mention that I have also been rocking natural hair since 1996! I’ve always been an avid reader since I could read. I was always making book recommendations to my friends so I decided to make my recommendations to the entire world via my blog, prissybooksnob.blogspot.com. My latest review is for Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez. This book addresses a really heavy subject matter: slave mistresses and their Masters who love them and own them. I would suggest this book to all women, not just African-American women, because it gives insight from mistress’s point of view. This book totally changed my view on the whole master and mistress relationship structure. Even though most of these women were essentially raped and forced into relationships some fell in love. The complexity of this love is what we read about in Wench. Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez I have read hundreds of books but this one has left a lasting impression on my heart. The story is about endearing friendships, the love a mother, a forbidden love, and a discovery of self. Most of all I would have to say that this novel shows how love actually does “bear all things.” This novel also changed the way I had previously viewed slave/master “intimate” relationships. I truly hated for this book to end. The narrator of this story is Eliza “Lizzie” houseslave on the Drayle plantation. Drayle is Lizzie’s master and father of her two children Nate and May who is affectionately known as “Rabbit.” Every summer, Drayle and Lizzie vacation at the Tawawa Resort in OH. There they are met by three other men along with their “negro wenches.” At Tawawa is where we begin to learn about all their lives. There is Sweet, Mawu, and Reenie. Phillip is the male slave that travels with Drayle and Lizzie. Phillip is Drayle’s most trust slave on the plantation and Lizzie’s dearest friend. During these summer vacations, Lizzie, Mawu, Reenie, and Sweet get to know what it feels like to be somewhat “free.” In a sense, these vacations do nothing but fuel the desire for freedom. While the others are overshadowed with the thoughts of freedom, Lizzie is overwhelmed by love. Lizzie has a love for her children and a love for Drayle that is incomprehensible considering that ultimately she is his “property.” Mawu is from Louisiana and shows the most strength of all the women. She is also the main one that confronts Lizzie about her love for Drayle asking on one occasion, “Is he your God?” Mawu also makes it very clear that she does not love Tip, her master, the only reason she accompanies him is because he “owns” her. Reenie is the silent one of the group and the oldest. By the end of the novel we learn that she is the one with the most courage despite her silence. Sweet is the total embodiment of a mother which leads to a shocking tragedy. Early on we learn that Drayle favors Lizzie. I dare say he loves her. He brings her gifts for “gifts” in return. Drayle teaches Lizzie to read. The ability to read proves valuable Lizzie, her children, and other slaves. Lizzie also learns to manipulate Drayle for certain favors. I became so caught up in Lizzie and Drayle’s love story that I often forgot about his wife, Fran. Fran is not a hateful mistress but she is mean spirited. Lizzie was able to give Drayle what she, Fran, was never able to produce, children. Fran was more resentful of Lizzie than evil to her. How you deal with forbidden love, suicide attempts, abortion, abolitionist ideals, runaway slaves, voodoo, deceit, and death of all proportions in one story is amazing but Dolen Perkins Valdez pulls it all off without missing a beat. The story was seamless and it just keeps pulling at you. There were times I cried and others that I cheered. I felt like I knew these women personally and their hurt was my hurt and their joy my joy. Perkins-Valdez wrote a story that will forever be relevant. Guest Blogger: Vern (twitter) For more reviews check out her blog

CIA EDWARDS

Christain Therapist. Trauma Coach, Author. Helping high-achieving women heal past pain, deepen connections and lead with peace

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