poems

(Death Date: May 16, 1998) By: Tara S.  I feel the need to explain to you the reason you’re not here Mainly because at 23, I was immature, unstable and full of fear It’s not that I didn’t love you, I know that now, as I shed a tear It’s just that at the time, when you were alive I allowed that love to be conquered by fear Fear that I couldn’t support you, and that you and I would struggle Fear of being a statistic; another single black mother Fear that I had made a mistake, in the father that I had chosen He was only 19 at the time, with no direction, and no focus Fear that I would become a failure and all my dreams would be deferred Fear that I would be a terrible mother for you… the last thing I wanted in this world I wasn’t ready to be a mother, I wish that wasn’t the case And I didn’t want to resent you, or throw that up in your face Despite it all, I know now that you deserved to live You also deserved more, than two young adults had to give You deserved the chance to exist, for more than 7 weeks To be loved, to be cherished, to breathe, to cry, and speak If I could turn back the hands of time, of course I’d change that fate Then I would get a chance to know you, hold you, and kiss your little face You were God’s gift to me, because He knew what I didn’t at the time That you were the love I needed, that you would mature me, this now I realize I miss you my child, I forfeited our chance and what we could have had But how can you miss what you never had some say, I don’t know but I miss you really bad I could never forget you, I’m haunted by the memory of that day The appointment, the doctors, the room, and the sound of the machine that took your life away I’m ashamed of what I did to you…I’ll never forgive myself I wish that I would have been stronger for you and understood the value of life itself This is what I thought you deserved to know, about your Mom and the choice she made Although young, your Dad did want you, and never thought of you as an accident, nor a mistake You are my first unborn child, my regret, my tears, my biggest fault I’ll love and nurture your spirit forever, inside the womb of my heart

Actors in a playActing on a sceneReading off scriptsLiving lives in magazineAnd I wonder if they realizeThe camera’s no longer onLiving a life of liesAnd acting like nothings wrongI wonder if they realizeThe camera’s no longer on,“Director I forgot my lines”Looking for that director to give them peace of mind“I forgot my lines”Feed me the liesSo I can disguiseand have the world not realizeI am an actor on stageAnd I stage these setsWhere I act in scenesBecause I don’t want them to realize,That this is me…Become such a good actorYou can hardly even tell“Feed me my script plz”Scene one has endedOn to scene twoBut I wonder if they realize, the cameras no longer onAnd as a matter of fact the camera man is gone“I’ve become such a good actor”Yea you live on the setActors in a movieLiving life in a scene!But I wonder if they realizeThe cameras no longer onand the camera man is GoneAnd the director has yelled cutFrom so longBut your trapped on setIn a scene that you’ve createdLiving a life of liesAnd have not realizedThat it all has ended -Danae

“It was what I once loved Now consumed and burdened by shackles Where the great once walked This, where life once was Eternal flames consumes memories of this With every spark, there a light dims Soon there will be no eternal light darkness is taking over There, the flames, they light the sky Soon it will fade and leave only darness This the eternal blaze from within This, where life once was” -Danae Send your poems or pictures to napskinkslove@onsugar.com