twa

Via Natural SunshinePulled blog story It’s Okay To Feel Ugly With a Baby TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro)! I Know I Do… I am here to set the record straight…Just because you don’t find a certain length of hair attractive on yourself, does not mean your hate your hair texture. Just because you opt not to do a drastic big chop and choose to transition for a whole year before cutting the relaxed ends does not mean you are less “committed” to your natural hair or the natural hair acceptance movement. I believe it means one thing and one thing only, you do not like the way you look with short hair and no matter what the texture, you believe longer hair suits you better than short hair. Period.I have a baby TWA and I admit it, I felt ugly in it. Seeing myself with the beginnings of an afro made me more than a little uncomfortable. For the record, I  have “been there and done that”, and I have already had the experience of growing my hair out from a fade. This is not my first time with a baby TWA. But, a couple weeks ago, I was walking around feeling ugly, asking my husband to weigh in on how ugly I was with my TWA and looking for ways to drop out of this natural hair thing all together…Does that mean I hate my hair? Does it mean I have yet to really accept it? No! I love my hair. I love my hair texture. I have no issues about it whatsoever, but what I am not in love with is the awkward phase I’m in. I don’t have a fade, I don’t have a full TWA with a few styling options. All I have is in between awkward un-styled hair. At first I thought my dislike was cause for concern, I considered removing myself from NatSun while getting myself together (LOL!). But then I calmed down and I gave myself a gift. I gave myself permission to relate to my hair on a personal level and not as an obligation to others. What I mean is, I gave myself permission to feel ugly and not chastise myself for “letting down” other naturals while doing so. I gave my hair permission to just be hair and not a political or social statement. And when I did that,I saw it for what it was…hair that needed a style or a pair of scissors to be up to my personal standards of styling. Nothing more nothing less. TWA circa 2009How does this fit into the post I wrote, No Matter What Stage You’re At in Your Natural Journey, “Own it” &a…, you ask…Despite the fact that I do not feel all that attractive with this length of hair, I have decided not to let it hold me hostage either in my house, under a wig or wrapped up all the time. I have decided that my hair does not have the power to make me any less beautiful than I am when my hair is in the style I prefer. I do wear my hair out from time to time and I hold my head up high. I am just about out of my awkward phase and in the photos above (taken today), I was feeling like I can honestly say I am beginning to enjoy my hair. It is now long enough that my curls are beginning to show and I have a little texture coming out. It is  a lot better than it was a few weeks ago when it was shorter and blah! So my question to  you is, how did you make it though your awkward phase? Have you felt guilty over not liking the way you look in a baby TWA? Have you ever accused someone of hating their hair because they didn’t feel comfortable with a TWA? Do you have a TWA right now and relate to what I am saying here?Weigh in! Thanks for reading! I look forward to reading your comments.Much Love,Sunshine AbuwiP.S.Check out the corresponding video as well! I vlogged about it 🙂 http://naturalsunshine.ning.com/video/it-s-okay-to-feel-ugly-in-a-twa